Thieves
One of the things that scares me the most about Climate change is the movement of people, if things happen as predicted people are going to move from one continent to the next population will be squeezed in certain areas. One of the pleasures of being a farmer is that you are away from everyone else; you should be able to leave keys in your car and shed doors open.

Unfortunatley we appear to live to close to someone to be able to do this now. First of all my chainsaw went missing, but I thought I must of just put it in the wrong place, I hunted the farm for ages, nothing worse than when you can not find something. You have to be very careful on a farm, and make sure you take things back and put them where they belong, otherwise before long you do not know where anything is. Latter that same day, Neil announced that we had to re order the Godminster cheese. I looked through the records and realised that this was ridiculous, we had only just ordered the cheese, on further inspection I realised that the delicious Christmas puddings had gone missing as well. So at this point I realised that we were looking for a mouse with a chainsaw who likes Christmas puddings. On closer inspection this mouse must also drive a car for he or she drained our diesel tank, and stole all my engineering tools. The inevitable started to sink in, we have been robbed.

Someone or people took the time to drive up here and steal from us, which is annoying enough but the most annoying part of the process is that we now have to lock up everything, we have put two new gates up with large padlocks on and a small camera. So far all I seem to be able to do is record myself and lose the keys.

Who do I blame, the exhibition canary, if you remember the man who fed his canaries with chickweed came here earlier in the year, working for Google, street mapping our road. You can now go anywhere and see anything, anywhere in the world, from a screen in your room. Like so many things in nature one thing feeds on another, the cabbage white caterpillar eats the cabbages the crows eat the caterpillars, people shoot the crows. What’s good for Bens Geese is not necessarily good for the Gander. I believe this technology is quietly feeding the thieves, its amazing and all that, but is it necessary?

On reporting the incident to the local PC, he asked if I blamed anyone, naturally I told him about the exhibition canary, he looked at me in a knowing way and changed the subject fast, before I got the high horse out. The Policeman was efficient; he explained there is a lot of it going on, he also explained that, should you meet an intruder you are now allowed to use equal force. I thought that Newton had already discovered this in the 17th Century.

I will be guarding the Turkeys personally, fear not, they will be there on the 23rd